Hi There,

My husband Pete and I had a lovely time at Les Miserables last Saturday. Here we are before the show!

A big part of living an authentic, purposeful and feel good life depends on how well your relationships work. I see it time after time with my clients: most of their relationships work great but the ones that don't take A LOT, if not most, of their energy. Unfortunately this results in LESS energy for their dreams.

I've been blessed with amazing relationships AND I have a few that continuously challenge me. Even though it's not easy for me to handle the most difficult people in my life I have acquired a few skills that help me maintain my sense of self, purpose, integrity and happiness no matter what they do. In this week's brand new article I share tips for maintaining your dignity and power while in relationship with the most difficult people in your life.

Have you taken the Passion Portal Assessment Tool and discovered your Top 5 Core Passions yet?

Your Personal Profile of Core Passion will include a special section on relationships and how your relationships play an important role in helping you develop your unique core passions.

For example: One of my Top 5 Core Passions is Partnership. This means I've been blessed with a finely tuned sensitivity and understanding, as well as an innate sense of how to create harmony in the world around me. In relationships I'm a natural partner but I have to be careful not to be a doormat for others. In fact, this is one of The Lessons associated with a strong core passion of Partnership. The PPAT validated for me how important it is for me to put me first. It helped me see that doing so isn't selfish and that authentic partnership requires me to see myself as an equal partner to those around me.

Energetically speaking I am all about creating strong partnerships with others. I MUST BE in deeply caring and mutually supportive partnerships with others to be happy. This is something that comes naturally to me and it's something I've done my entire life. Now I can see how important it is for me to leverage my gift for partnership throughout my life and business...my success AND happiness depend on it!

The PPAT also helped me see why at different times in my life I've felt "off". When I look back to some of my most challenging life events most of them center around relationships. (Yes, even though one of my gifts is Partnership it is also an area of challenge for me! Remember: your greatest gifts are also your greatest challenges!)

The relationships I've been most challenged by occur when I don't have an "equal energy exchange partner". In other words, I wind up giving more than I receive, OR I undervalue myself in the partnership. Anyone who's been in these positions knows how draining they can be emotionally. I've learned to recognize my tendency to put myself in these positions and as the years go by I do so less and less. I've learned to watch myself in relationship with others and keep an eye on the "partnership balance". In fact, the Passion Portal Assessment Tool helped me create an important intention for my life and business: to create strong, equal energy exchange partnerships with people I care deeply about and who care deeply about me. This intention has been life-changing for me, personally and professionally.

If you have Partnership as one of your Top 5 Core Passions you understand where I'm coming from in a deep way. I bet you "get it"! If it didn't resonate with you that means you have other core passions that drive you to do what you do and must do. If you're curious as to what your Top 5 Core Passions are you can take the assessment here.

Special Offer

>From now until November 15 I'm offering a FR*EE 45 Minute Strategy Session to everyone who orders the Passion Portal Assessment Tool. During your special one-on-one strategy session with me I'll help you better understand what drives you to do what you do and what you MUST do to live your best life possible. Take the assessment today and get on my calendar for your special time with me.

On a final note...

Enjoy your weekend. Here in Minnesota we're in the heart of autumn. The temperatures are cool, the air crisp and the trees look beautiful in lovely shades of gold, red and brown. I'll be spending my weekend with a paintbrush, creating some much needed harmony in my daughter's special "den" AND babying our 5 month old terrier mix, Choxie. She was spayed this week and needs a little extra TLC.

Bye for now...

Wishing you happiness and success,



PS. Welcome NEW SUBSCRIBERS from around the globe! I'm so glad you are here!

Listen to this special audio and learn how you can profit in every area of your life by centering and creating your life around your core passions.

As you know I'm passionate about CORE PASSION. Why? It's close to my heart because eight years ago I made the life-changing decision to **organize my entire life around my Core Passions.**

That one decision changed my life, in the best possible way, forever.

How To Maintain Your Dignity and Power While Handling Your Most Difficult Relationships

When you're forced to deal with your most difficult relationships what's your first impulse? Do you want to withdraw from the world? Fight? Eat? Give up? Sleep? Blame? Cower?

We all have a fight or flight response to stressful situations and difficult relationships are some of the most stressful situations we can find ourselves in.

Instead of giving into your first impulse to fight or flee, how would you like to stay in control and keep your power, no matter who you're dealing with?

The following tips will keep you in the driver's seat of your life. They'll help you maintain your sense of power and dignity even while dealing with the most difficult people you know.

· Boundaries

Good boundaries are the key to maintaining your sense of self, power and dignity while dealing with difficult people. What does having good boundaries mean? It means you not only care for the other person, you care equally and deeply for yourself. It means you value yourself and your right to have a different opinion and different way of being in the world.

Having good boundaries also includes understanding you don't have to "take on" the problems of others... you don't have to be a doormat. In fact, allowing other people to have ALL their pain is the best thing you can do for them. Carrying the burden of someone else will never serve them or you. Difficult people often suffer emotionally and the only way they can recover from their pain is to fully own it. They won't be able to do that if you're carrying a good portion of their pain for them.

· Shake It Off

Animals get it. If they're stressed by anything they shake it off immediately. They bark, buck, bite, run, neigh, whinny, scratch...you get the idea. But as human animals we tend to hold in our stress, which of course leads to unwelcome side effects; illness, insomnia, crabbiness, overeating, lethargy, etc.

If you still feel remnants of stress after dealing with difficult people find a way to shake it off. Go for a walk. Have a good cry. Get some fresh air. Find someone you can belly laugh with. The sooner you can release the stress the sooner you can regain your power to live your life fully, in spite of what others might do.

· Be Honest

Have you ever been bullied? Bullies try to force their way and their opinion on you. If you let them, you sacrifice your integrity and dignity.

Perhaps one of the hardest things to do when dealing with difficult people is to stand up to them and voice your own thoughts and opinions. No one likes confrontation and difficult people tend to create situations ripe for it! But running the other way and/or ignoring their bullying can leave you feeling worse.

Remember, bullies want to share their pain with you so they don't feel it so much. They need an outlet for their pain and the only way they know how to let go of their pain is bullying someone else into taking it. But you don't have to take it...it's not yours to take!

Stand up to the bullies in your life. Be honest with them how you feel about their bullying. Be honest with them about how you really feel. You'll walk away feeling proud of yourself for doing so. Bullies usually crumble when faced with authentic power.

(If you're in an abusive relationship and fear for your safety, seek outside assistance. Don't face a bully that would physically harm you.)

· Surround Yourself with Good People

Did you know you're a reflection of the five people you spend the most time with? Is this good news or bad news for you?

Consciously seek out and surround yourself with top- notch people. Your partnerships and friendships should allow you to feel joy in your life. They should be easy, mutually rewarding, and emotionally satisfying.

Surround yourself with "equal energy exchange partners". The give and take in these relationships is equal and equally rewarding.

· Say Goodbye

Sometimes you might have to say so long for just awhile or even goodbye for good.

Ending a relationship is no small task, but staying in a relationship that's not working is no small task either. The energy you spend ending a bad relationship will repay you thousandfold down the road. The energy you spend staying in a bad relationship costs far too much emotionally and spiritually and delays your right to live a happy, joyful life.

Some relationships are easier to end with others. If you need to end a relationship with a friend doing so will feel tough, but ending a relationship with a spouse, partner, sibling or parent can feel impossible. If you're in a tough relationship that you know you must end but are having a hard time doing so seek out the help and advice of someone who specializes in relationships, or talk to someone who's been in your shoes. Don't go it alone.

Relationship matters are rarely black and white. There's a lot of gray area to navigate. The best thing you can do in any of your relationships is to take care of yourself and your needs. Be your own best friend. Put your needs at the top of the list. By doing so you'll have much more to give others and you'll stay out of situations that wind up draining you in the long run.

(c) 2007 * Cari Vollmer * LifeOnTrack.com

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Copyright © 2007 LifeOnTrack.com, Cari Vollmer

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